Panic!

Sunday, October 15, 2006

i'm blogging here. finally. but this is not my real blog still.

every beginning.. has an end.

what can i say? its crap. i mean. change of bands? no way. dammit. i don't wanna bloody change bands for cripes sake. i love my band (i mean it). i don't see the reason for the sudden decision to change and reshuffle everyone. is it supposed to help us bond? please. people like me who have a stint of AP will not co-operate dammit. most likely, we'll demand for a return back to our old band. but no. i shall throw away that stint of AP and i shall stick to their decision. after all, they are the mighty W Com.... no sacarsm here. nooooooooooooo sacarsm. they are in charge.

can i shout? can i scream? please. the reshuffling feels like a loss. it feels like a loss. a total loss. saddened perhaps? feels like i lost some good memories. all that goofing around during rehearsals. all the fun. all the laughter. playing, jamming all the songs we all like. now we can't play together. no more.

i'm in Band A. all the time i complained that our band was not pro. maybe i didn't say it out loud, but perhaps i meant it? now i got what i wanted. i'm in Band A. supposedly the best band? but i'm not happy. now i just want to be where i really belong. i want to be in the place where i started. i started in Band C and i want to end in Band C. it's where i belong. Band C is my life. all the people there have been in my life for so long. now i'm supposed to leave to another band. leave behind the memories. leave behind the band that i was in. the band in which i improved, in which i have become the drummer i am today, the band that my mentor took me into. am i happy?

hardly

why the split? we're happy where we are now. seriously. "Band C" is just a name. let it be Band F for all i care. all i want is to be with the people. the people i bonded with, the people i laughed with, the people i jammed with... the people i praised God with. no i'm not criticising other bands. i'm not saying Band A is not a good band. i'm just saying that it's not my band. it's not where i really want to be. perhaps they feel that this is for our own good. we bond with others.

let me tell you what's "for our own good"

it's for our own good that we stay where we belong. it's for our own good that we praise God together with people we have bonded with. it's for our own good that we make our own decisions as to where the heck we go.

"for our own good"? think again

put me back with the people. put me back with Javis. put me back with Ben, with Zach, with Joel, with Grace, with Judith, with Ee Yang, with Joel Seet. i enjoy their company. we are one great band. unified. not all the time, but nonetheless, unified. don't break us apart for goodness sake. let us worship God as our own band. unique. not better, not worse.

just give me back what belongs to me.

but no. i am a one man show. i cannot make anyone unwrite this decision. no way.

the swan song. Grand Finale

Band C's swan song. our Grand Finale. i never thought i'd see the day. i never even contemplated the fact that we would be separated. no. but it has come to the day that Band C has to make it's final appearance... final appearance as the original Band C. final appearance as the Band C i know. the Band C i love.

we have to make it good. i saw this Band nurture into what it is today. from a band under Andrew. now a band which comprises of individuals of my age. individuals i love and bonded with. Band C has changed. for the better i must add.

our swan song. it must be good. no. not musically. we shall make the people, every person in YF worship with all their heart. we shall send revival through this land. we will make everyone know that He is our King, that He is our Creator, that He is sovereign. and in the end.

Band C shall bow out. bow out for the new Band C. not worse. but different. different from what it is now. it will never be the same. it will never be the same band that i see it now.

Band C is my life. to lose it. to be in another band. it's like losing a friend. something dear to me. i am saddened. very. but we shall still lift our voices to Him. be it our Band C, or the new Band C. and we shall shout His praise.

the Grand Finale

for Him....

{11:12 PM}